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My piece of advice to anyone who is facing a similar dilemma is to stop and reflect on this for a moment: if these boys are going around and chasing girls like that, would you even want their attention? Firstly, if you say you are rather shy, and these girls are going about ‘flashing their cleavage’, then clearly you are nothing alike - so would you be happy with a boy who finds the opposite of you so much more attractive? And secondly, these boys who are chasing around girls that act so inappropriately probably aren’t gems themselves. Someone worth your time would see beyond the cleavage, so you’re lucky to have these girls clearing the way for all those boys who would be much more deserving of your time and attention.
It may not seem like it now, but in the great scheme of things, high school is just a pit stop on the road, and no one’s going to remember who did or did not have a boyfriend. In any case, boys don’t provide happiness - you have the power to make yourself happy. I know that that may seem like unhelpful advice right now, but it really is the best I can do, and hopefully you’ll understand what I’m getting at.
Being a lady isn’t some sort of cheat sheet to get the guys in high school to like you. But hopefully, down the road, you’ll find someone who appreciates you for who you are, a lady or not. And that is far more important than getting all the guys now.
I was hoping to take a moment of your time to have a brief discussion about an issue that has been bothering me. Among the criticism that I’ve received, one of the points that stand out most is the issue of feminine beauty. My critics seem to believe that my focus on beauty and physical appearance is a form of internalised sexism and is patriarchal and male attention driven. Sorry to disappoint, ladies and gentlemen, but that isn’t at all the case and if that’s all that you see, you aren’t looking deep enough.
First and foremost, while I cannot speak for others, I can tell you that I choose to look the way I look for me. When I look good, I feel empowered – like I command respect and attention, I am confident in my abilities, and I don’t feel hindered and distracted by my insecurities. When I stand up to speak, that spot on my chin won’t be in the forefront of my mind nagging me, and to me, that is one of the most empowering things – that I can completely disconnect myself from my physical insecurities. So when I put on a nice outfit in the morning, or swipe on some mascara, I’m doing it for myself.
Secondly, beauty is subjective. That is why I believe that it is most important to be happy with your own appearance than to focus on making others happy. You will never achieve universal adoration. I would never encourage my followers to chase perfection in the hopes that it will make them better people. Be the person you want to be and the person that makes you happy, inside and out. I encourage my followers to look put-together and groomed – not blonde, blue-eyed, large-breasted, and skinny.
Finally, I don’t think I have ever met a woman who looks the way she does solely for a man’s attention. To say that the concept of beauty is patriarchal is a misandric statement. Of course, if I have my eye on a certain someone, I may do myself up a little bit to get their attention, but on a day-to-day basis, I do not dress up and apply make-up so I can look attractive for men. Are men not encouraged to look handsome as well? If physical attractiveness was an entirely patriarchal concept, men would go about their days looking like bums while women tripped over one another to the make-up counter.
You can argue that this is still some sort of indoctrinated internal sexism that the misogynistic society, run collectively by all men, has forced upon me and I am no longer able to distinguish between what I believe and what I think I believe. The fact still remains that I don’t encourage women to chase perfection and some general idea of beauty and it is ludicrous to suggest that that’s what my blog does. I want women to feel powerful and confident and to command respect and attention by doing those tiny things that make them feel beautiful. That, I believe, is the essence of a true lady.
A lady is always careful of her appearance and takes pride in the way she looks and in the way that she manages her appearance. She has healthy habits and takes great care of herself and her body. She does her best to be beautiful inside and out and makes sure to radiate health and beauty.