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I was hoping to take a moment of your time to have a brief discussion about an issue that has been bothering me. Among the criticism that I’ve received, one of the points that stand out most is the issue of feminine beauty. My critics seem to believe that my focus on beauty and physical appearance is a form of internalised sexism and is patriarchal and male attention driven. Sorry to disappoint, ladies and gentlemen, but that isn’t at all the case and if that’s all that you see, you aren’t looking deep enough.
First and foremost, while I cannot speak for others, I can tell you that I choose to look the way I look for me. When I look good, I feel empowered – like I command respect and attention, I am confident in my abilities, and I don’t feel hindered and distracted by my insecurities. When I stand up to speak, that spot on my chin won’t be in the forefront of my mind nagging me, and to me, that is one of the most empowering things – that I can completely disconnect myself from my physical insecurities. So when I put on a nice outfit in the morning, or swipe on some mascara, I’m doing it for myself.
Secondly, beauty is subjective. That is why I believe that it is most important to be happy with your own appearance than to focus on making others happy. You will never achieve universal adoration. I would never encourage my followers to chase perfection in the hopes that it will make them better people. Be the person you want to be and the person that makes you happy, inside and out. I encourage my followers to look put-together and groomed – not blonde, blue-eyed, large-breasted, and skinny.
Finally, I don’t think I have ever met a woman who looks the way she does solely for a man’s attention. To say that the concept of beauty is patriarchal is a misandric statement. Of course, if I have my eye on a certain someone, I may do myself up a little bit to get their attention, but on a day-to-day basis, I do not dress up and apply make-up so I can look attractive for men. Are men not encouraged to look handsome as well? If physical attractiveness was an entirely patriarchal concept, men would go about their days looking like bums while women tripped over one another to the make-up counter.
You can argue that this is still some sort of indoctrinated internal sexism that the misogynistic society, run collectively by all men, has forced upon me and I am no longer able to distinguish between what I believe and what I think I believe. The fact still remains that I don’t encourage women to chase perfection and some general idea of beauty and it is ludicrous to suggest that that’s what my blog does. I want women to feel powerful and confident and to command respect and attention by doing those tiny things that make them feel beautiful. That, I believe, is the essence of a true lady.
as endearing as your colourful vocabularies are, and as pressing as your concerns are, I am in fact beginning to lose my patience with your lack of originality and your hostility. As far as I know, I have never singled anyone out and put them down, nor have I acted negatively towards any one person or group. Therefore, I find all this hatred quite unnecessary and uncalled for. However, as you have taken the time to write to me, I feel that it is only fair that I address the most recent issues you have presented to me.
no guy would want to date a woman who acts like this. all it does it make you look like a stuck up bitch. it’s not the 1950’s anymore
I’m sorry you feel this way, and you’re quite right - it isn’t the 1950s anymore. Therefore, I find it shocking that you are under the impression that I would be so concerned with attracting ‘guys’. I don’t behave respectably to attract men; I do it for myself. If I were to change myself, my manners, appearance, interests, and habits for the sole purpose of attracting suitors or a boyfriend, that would be very pathetic of me. Furthermore, doesn’t it make more sense to find someone who likes me for me, than to change myself for someone? Would I not be much happier that way? I would rather be forever alone for being myself than be flocked by a bunch of suitors for being who they think I should be.
I will act in whichever way I choose and perhaps one day I’ll find someone who appreciates me for the way I act and it is that person, and not you, that I am hoping to meet. Sorry to disappoint.
DO YOU HONESTLY THINK WOMEN TODAY GIVE A FUCK IF IT’S CONSIDERED ‘ETIQUETTE’ OR ‘LADYLIKE’ JESUS CHRIST WE DO WHAT WE HAVE TO TO GET THROUGH THE DAY AND IF THAT TWISTS YOUR BLOOMERS TOO BAD
Who ever mentioned anything about twisting my bloomers? I encourage my followers to act in whatever way they wish, whether that follows or goes against my beliefs. If you disagree with me, and I have had many brave followers admit it when they do, I don’t get upset or angry. It is a lady’s choice to be whoever she wishes to be and I have absolutely no right to judge her for that. It is not my business, nor of my concern, how you or anyone else acts. I think it is in fact you who has their bloomers in a twist.
And I believe that there are girls and women out there who share my beliefs, just as there are those who will share yours so, yes, I do honestly think women today give a fuck if it’s considered ‘etiquette’ or ‘ladylike’.
this blog is just ridiculous. telling women or young girls they should restrict themselves or be a certain way to be considered proper or beautiful or whatever the fuck this blog is trying to portray is wrong.
Seeing as you’re not exactly sure what this blog is trying to portray, perhaps you aren’t in a position to judge whether or not it is right or wrong.
To all of my darling followers, I am forever thankful for all of your support and encouragement, and I am also sorry if you have, too, begun to lose your patience with these messages, but I don’t believe that they should be ignored. To my charming anons, if you don’t like what you see, you’re welcome to leave. I don’t encourage any sort of negativity here, so I’m not exactly sure what you are looking for and what you are trying to accomplish. This blog is for me, my followers, and my supporters. So let’s just agree to disagree.
Hello everyone! I’ve received many messages in the past regarding my spelling and grammar and I think it’s high time I addressed them publicly.
First and foremost, you are not wrong in your corrections. So please don’t take offence to this post, this isn’t meant to be offensive at all - I just want to clear some things up and hopefully stem the flow of messages and comments that I’ve received that seem wildly offended by my apparent disregard for the English language.
As I live in Canada, my English is influenced by both American English and British English because we are a part of the British Commonwealth, but are located in close proximity to the United States. As a result, the spellings I use are something of a grey area in between the two.
In the past I have used ‘realise’ which is the British spelling for the American ‘realize’. The British also use ‘apologise’, ‘organise’, ‘recognise’, etc. Americans, however, tend to use the ‘-ize’ suffix (this rule similarly applies to ‘-yse’ and ‘-yze’ suffixes). Whichever spelling you use, you are not incorrect. Technically, both spellings are correct, but one is more prevalent than the other depending on where it is you live.
Some words, and not just suffixes, are also different. For instance, the British spell ‘pyjamas’ what Americans spell ‘pajamas’. Both are correct. If you want more examples of different spellings (or simply if you don’t believe me), feel free to check out either this link or this link.
Regarding grammar, I wish to focus on the ‘who’ and ‘whom’ distinction. In an English sentence, there is a subject, which is typically the person or thing performing the main action. For instance, in the sentence ‘I am jumping’, I is the subject. There is sometimes also an object, to which the action is being performed. In the sentence ‘I am jumping over you’, I is still the subject, but you is the object.
When distinguishing between ‘who’ and ‘whom’, ‘who’ takes the place of the subject and ‘whom’ takes the place of the object. So if you were to switch the same sentence around to ask a question, you could ask, ‘Who is jumping over you?’ Here, ‘who’ takes the place of ‘I’, which was the subject. You could also ask, ‘Whom am I jumping over?’ Here, ‘whom’ takes the place of ‘you’, which was the object.
Unfortunately, ‘whom’ is not found in most people’s vernacular, so whenever it is used, it sounds wrong and out of place. I assure you, I don’t throw it around simply because I think it sounds smart.
Wow, this was quite a post! I hope you found it informative and that I have not just wasted five minutes of your time. If anyone has any questions, feel free to drop me a line at my Ask page.